Looking Out For #1

There are a few things I've learned about not getting fucked over in Corporate America. Of course, I didn't learn them the easy way but hopefully this helps someone, somewhere. This stuff may seem common sense but when you're in the situation it's easy to lose sight of what's important, most important of which is yourself.

Relating to that statement, the first and foremost thing you should be concerned about is yourself, and how the situation affects you. One time, through a temp agency (curse the day these demon spawn first begin to leech off innocent proletariats) I went to an interview and they seemed really nice. I thought I was a shoe-in as it was related to my degree. They asked me if I could hold off from a permanent job for two weeks so I would be able to take the job when it was open. Well, I waited and waited, finally calling the temp place (everything; communication, hiring, firing etc. is handled through the agency) to see what was up. She said she hadn't heard but I knew it was a sham. I never called them again and in turn lost out on two weeks of potential full time employment. In hindsight, I would have said "Yes, I'll wait two weeks" and been out that afternoon looking for another job. Fuck 'em. Obviously, they didn't care enough or have the decency to tell me I didn't have the job so I'll be the same. These people don't give a shut about you. To them, you’re a commodity. A product to be purchased that will perform its task, no questions asked. When they're done they throw you out (as recently happened at my old work.) They do not care on bit about your welfare. Here I was being a good boy, waiting two weeks when I didn't get me jack shit but deeper into debt. You have to look out for number one or else you will be in the same boat.

After this realization (trust no one, fuck over everyone,) I became savvier when dealing with these capitalist pigs. I was registered with 4 or 5 agencies and would accept the best offer no matter who it was from. They would feed me full of shit how they're going to hook me up with all these great jobs but the bottom line is I'm going to do what's best for me, no matter what.

Another example of corporate greed. For the past two months I've worked in the computer room at a real estate agency. I was temp-to-perm for 4 months which means I was temping for those 4 months then would get hired on their payroll. This way they can fire you without having to mess around with payroll and you don't get benefits. How convenient for them. They also wanted to commit for a year or more and I was in dire straits so I said I would do it. Recently they offered to buy out my contract. I had two weeks to decide if I was going to work for them for at least a year. I thought about it non-stop. What's best for me? Here I am with tons of computer skills and a degree working in basically dead end job with no room for advancement. Yet somehow I felt guilty if I bailed out on them because I said I would stay for a year, to both the office manager and the temp coordinator. Then I remembered the golden rule, "Who’s #1?" Who the fuck's life is this? So I bailed out. I walked in the day I had to give my decision and told them I was leaving. The office manager was pissed and laying down heavy guilt trips. The temp coordinator that said not to bother interviewing if I wasn't ready to commit was pissed and laying down heavy guilt trips. But who are these people? Are they living my life? They are just crying because they are also looking out for themselves. The manager has to hire someone new (I won't tell you how much more she gets paid that I did but it's a lot) and the temp guy loses the money he was making off every hour I worked (he has subsequently lost the account which was his biggest money maker.)

Despite all their attempts, why should I feel guilty about having a couple leeches pissed at me? Actually, I feel good that both of them lost a lot of money because of me. This is truly the only way to f-ck over a capitalist, in the pocketbook. Yet even though both of them would screw me over in a heartbeat, I do feel guilty that I said I would stay and then bailed out. It's because I'm generally a good person and they were hoping to prey on that to guilt trip me into staying for the whole year. The temp guy repeatedly asked me to reconsider, the office manager offered more money (tempting!) but once again, I'm looking out for #1. When it all comes down to it, when you're sitting alone in your bed dreading the next day of work, where do your loyalties lie? Are they with your conniving, heartless boss? Are they with your manipulative, tape worm temp coordinator? Fuck no! The only person you should be loyal to is yourself. No matter what shit they feed you, no matter what guilt trips they use, they are only looking out for themselves and you should do the same. I'm not saying be a heartless f-ck but remember that they're not with you when rent rolls around and your broke from being paid too little. Never let people play off your kindness to get you to follow their path. This may seem harsh but like I wrote they're not living my life. When I go to sleep at night I'm happy. I feel like I'm in control. Even if this turns out to be the worst mistake of my life at least it was made on my terms.

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